It is very difficult to know when to let a loved one go.  When the loved one is a pet, the answer is: when there is suffering (the pet is suffering, not the owner).  When the loved one is human, there are generally laws and doctors to provide advice and guidance, not to mention fears of incarceration.  When the object of affection is a beloved graphic t shirt, well past its prime, beauty may well be in the eyes of the owner, not the beholder.

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We’re not talking about a ‘date’ with a long-standing significant other.  The words of advice offered here pertain to the far scarier realm of first, second or even third dates.  This is the time in a relationship in which superficiality reigns supreme.  There will be time later to polish one’s supply of witticisms, perfect lingering glances, and bone up on current events, but first, there’s a visual test to be passed.  The absolute bottom line is not to wear something that could possibly, by any stretch, embarrass either you or your chosen companion.

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Step Brothers, 2008, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, wins hands down as the best movie featuring graphic tee shirts.  The simple plot: two 40 something live-at-home slackers end up roommates when their single parents marry.  They squabble, act and dress like ten year olds with a tremendous assist from their brilliant wardrobe, which prominently features vintage graphic tees, usually reproductions, since Ferrell is 6’4” and many of the original tees were women’s or children’s sizes.

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It’s not too hard to find the most egregiously overpriced tee shirt for women.  A quick browse and up pops Balmain’s artfully ripped army green tee shirt, priced at a tidy $1625.  This easily eclipses another Balmain contender, the black, ripped-but-held-together-with-safety-pins tee shirt, which looks like a relative bargain at $1545.  If one buys the premise that some women, especially some well-to-do, fashion-hungry women, shop like lemmings, this otherwise staggering price point does not surprise.